4 Formalities to Exclude on Your Wedding Day
I have always said that you should do your wedding your way by including as many or as few formalities, rituals and aspects that you like. After all, it is YOUR wedding and everything that happens throughout the day should have meaning to you as a couple or bring you joy. There is no point in including certain formalities in your day if they just aren’t meaningful to you and just because that’s the way things have always been done in the past. Over the years, we have found that many customs are being phased out or are not as popular as they once were.
This is not to say that certain traditions don’t play a big part in many weddings, these are just some of the trends we are seeing in modern weddings we help coordinate and plan.
1 – The Garter or Bouquet Toss
In recent years, it is very rare for us to see the traditional garter toss. Most of our couples now find it a bit cringe-worthy with their Nanna or their Dad sitting close by. We are also finding only a handful of weddings still seem to include a bouquet toss. This can be for a number of reasons. One, they may not feel they have enough single ladies at their wedding to actually fill a dance floor without it feeling super awkward for the one or two females that are single. Two, they don’t want to lose their bouquet, damage it or pay for another throwaway bouquet just to uphold this tradition.
Tip – You can still do the bouquet toss but put a spin on it. Instead of single ladies, why not just all ladies to make it more inclusive.
2 – A Wedding or Bridal Table
I would say three-quarters of our couples are opting for no wedding table and instead just sit within their guests. One reason behind this is if you are not having a wedding party at all, then it would just be the two of you. Secondly, for people that don’t want all eyes on them, this is usually not something they are keen on. For the majority of our couples, they just want to be part of the action. Many modern weddings are now shared banquet style service so they want to be in the middle of the middle row right in the midst of it. They would rather be surrounded by their family and friends than set apart and this works really well too.
3 – Cutting the Cake
I have always thought a cake cutting was a bit random and it’s often a moment that goes super quick too. You gather everyone around to take a picture of you both holding a knife together and that’s about it. We are increasingly finding this formality left off run sheets or swapped for alternatives. When you look up why there is a cake cutting at weddings or events, it actually represents the first activity done as a couple, and historically the bride did this act alone to symbolize the loss of her virginity…awkward!
4 – The First Dance
Let’s be real, when have you ever formal danced with your partner? For most of us it’s not very often (or ever) so for many couples it can feel really awkward or foreign even thinking about having a first dance with their loved one. Some of our couples do want to kick off the dance floor with some transition from sitting down at dinner to the more party-time section of the evening so we are finding rather than a 3.5 min full choreographed dance, a lot of our couples are choosing to just do a little 20 second snippet. This could simply be a cute little sway side-to-side and then having your MC or DJ invite everyone up.
Same goes with father daughter dance, totally okay if you have always pictured this moment and want to keep this included in your run sheet but if you prefer an alternative of some sort then go for it. Perhaps splitting the first dance and father daughter dance in half and just doing both in the one song would be a preference. There are so many ways to reinvent the dancing wheel when it comes to this formality.
A fun thing to do is to actually Google why we have these wedding traditions as some of them are super funny and seemingly make no sense as they were created hundreds of years ago. Whilst others are actually very sweet and meaningful and are a lovely ritual to include. I encourage you to grab a wine on the weekend with your partner and have a Google. It may just sway you one way or the other on making a decision to include certain traditions or not.
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